But that would mean that God would go to hell because he was masterbating out of wedlock. Clearly impossible due to the fact that he would have to first separate the 35th cosmos from the 9th parallel so that Highest Gods could exist in the Hell Dimension, but then that would mean that humans couldn't come into existence because the presence of Highest Gods would have destroyed all of the demons that are used to make human souls.
Egyptians needed a new planet, so they chose earth, but earth didnt have water(that's why its called "earth" because it was just a big rock before the Egyptians came and killed the dinosaurs) So then the Egyptians (who are really aliens), used their pyramid technology to create a 1-way portal from mars(their home planet) to earth and it sucked nearly all of the hydrogen and oxygen from mars.
