I am a researcher for the issue at hand and I have been looking at recent statistics to determine which of the two subjects - ninjas and pirates - are the most efficient and effective in their mannerisms and methods of killing. Pirates, I have concurred, are highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and are capable of using violent tactics no matter whether they are inebriated or not. In this way Pirates are highly superior.

HOWEVER:

Chuck Norris is a ninja.