My Mother did not spank she beat us with belts, sticks and razor straps. Also the slaps across the face, the fingernails digging in the arm, pinching and pulling hair. I was shy and very quiet, did all the housework that I could possibly do, got very good grades in school, helped take care of my younger siblings but no matter what I did I still got beat. My daughter was never spanked and she turned out super. She and her son live with me and we have wonderful times, and a very peaceful home. We do not ever use the words, stupid, dumb, fat, any negative words. My grandson also has never been spanked and is such a good kid...I really know this way of raising children works, no beatings, no put downs, no screaming..one day I mentioned (positive way) that our dear neighbor of over a year was African American, my grandson was upset with me, he said "She has a bit of a shadow and she is exactly the same as we are inside".