Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.. a relationship

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past.

We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude

... I am convinced that an individuals life is 10% what happens to them, and 90% is how they react to it.

And so it is with you .. we are in charge of our Attitudes.

I've been wrestling with this issue for awhile. I'm not certain what the actual answer is. It's very closely related to the topic of "free will" -- how much choice do we really have? It's possible that we have no real choice at all, that our "intuitively obvious" feeling that we do have a choice is really just an illusion created by the impossibility of actually knowing all the factors that coalesce and "conspire" at each and every moment to determine what our choice will be. All those factors are not knowable until the instant a choice is made -- and all the factors may well be unknowable, and so we may not even be able to choose when a decision is made.

Some are in charge of their attitudes.Possibly those who were not subjected to extreme cruelty at a young age.Those who were not beaten ,molested, abandoned...Those who were not indoctrinated with dogma early in their childhood.Those who were allowed to think and feel without coercion.But in almost all or us we find varying degrees of an attitude about many things.It is almost impossible to start out with a tabula rasa.Everything from genetics to our environment conspires to defeat the reasoning mind which allows unprejudiced choice.

People do try to force their opinions on one though. I have actually had people complain because so-and-so never agreed with them and thus was thought incapable of logic. To some folk there is always only one answer to life's problems and they alone have it. A clear sign of a person with poor communication skills.

For those that have dysfunctional childhoods and realize it, they have a hard battle to be able to change their own attitudes. Attitudes are instant and they're not always rational thought.

For a long time, they still feel right and they have to consciously be replaced with something better. It takes a long time for it to come naturally and even longer to realize they should not apply.You wind up living in a world of your misguided assumptions.

We're not even blank slates when we're born. Depending on wiring and brain chemistry, a new person perceives and reacts to his world differently than the next person. There's probably more random chance involved than we would like to believe and less people to blame.

If we "mature", later decisions about our lives are simply influenced by earlier decisions -- we're a little smarter because we notice the consequences of earlier and often bad judgment, and we make some adjustments.

Even here, though, we can debate whether we're really making a choice, or whether the consequences of earlier decisions are now determining what later decisions are, actually forcing us to make a new "choice" because we wish to avoid repeating the same mistake.

So it is with attitude. For some reason, I've always been relatively optimistic, relatively upbeat, relatively happy -- and this has always seemed pretty effortless, like it's a genetic thing. I'm not sure how much control I really have over that -- though, whether or not I have any control over it, it absolutely affects how folks react to me, and so has always had a generally positive effect on my life. So I absolutely agree that attitude affects one's life -- I don't know how much control I really have over it.

Our life's experiences has an impact on our attitude but only up to a point.

However, as we become fully mature adults, we should be able to rationalize our past experiences, let them go, and take charge of our attitude. Maybe I should say, ideally, we should be able to rationalize.....

Each of us is simultaneously captain...and captive....of his own ship.

Although I don't think the ingrained attitudes necessarily come from indoctrination (at least nothing deliberate), abuse or even from any kind of parenting. Many are just from life's circumstances. Good and bad.

The 'good life' doesn't leave as many obvious markers. They're what gives children confidence that they can take into their adult years. We teach our children they deserved to be loved. They even learn what they shouldn't put up with.

All these things make up the attitudes they carry as adults. If your mom handled things calmly and with good cheer, her daughter is allot more likely to, etc.

You are the reason for your happiness and sorrow.

Gravel Road

If life were a gravel road

it would be easier to see

who's choice is behind

that which affects us

You choose to identify,

hold onto, be encumbered by

or walk by any rock on the road

How it effects you is

Your choice

According to your upbringing. . ...

Same with doubt, confrontation, acceptance. . .

No matter how that 'rock' developed,

or 'because of. . .' . . ..

You choose how to deal with it,

Own your choice

Do you blame the pebble when you stub your toe?