What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.

A doctor and his wife were sitting on a dock on a beach. Suddenly a fin pops out of the water. The doctor faints. After the doctor regained consciousness the wife said, "Honey, it's only a shark. You've got to stop imagining there are lawyers eveywhere."

What do you call a lawyer who stopped chasing ambulances?

retired

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Your Honor.

What do you call a room full of 144 lawyers?

a disaster..............

What does a lawyer use for birth-control?

His personality.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.

hahahahahhahahahaha!!!!! I heard that joke many times and it never gets old!

What's the difference between a trampoline and a lawyer?

You take off you're shoes to jump on a trampoline. ;)

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.

The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."

The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."

Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage?

They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.

Ahhh...the handicap of argument...............................................wait...

Uh...wow that's a lot of jokes you got there....I'm done for the day. Bye!

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?

New Jersey got first choice

What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?

Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?

Who cares?

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A doberman.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement?

Get more cement.

Good gravy! You're still not done?!?!?! :O

(>0_0)> awwwww

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

Removable wingtips.

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?

Who cares?

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

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What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them, but you never see them.