If we allow straight people to get married, then next we will have to allow pedophilia and bestiality. God clearly doesn't like straight people because he game them syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, chlamydia, herpes, hepatitis, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, chancroid, LGV, molluscum contagiosum, MPC, PID, crabs, and scabies. How much more clear does he have to make it. Straight marriage is an abomination and if we allow it we will face his wrath. Plus it's just plain icky. I don't want my kids to see two straight people kissing in public. Think of the poor children whose fragile minds will be scarred for life if they see something like that ;)

The government should not be concerned with this issue. A marriage license serves no real purpose. In fact it may be hurting us. We don't go through the process of creating paperwork that would help sort things out in emergencies/death. A marriage license covers too many things, provides information that is needed for everyone, and is complicated to get. Shouldn't everyone have someone who can act as a medical proxy for them? Shouldn't everyone have someone designated as the beneficiary of their estate? All the things that are by default assigned to the spouse should be documented specifically, and causes people to be complacent when it comes to stuff like wills.

I don't really support marriage as a government institution whatsoever. If two people want to gather with a bunch of other people in a building that has some religious significance to them, preform some abstract ceremony, and start referring to themselves as a "married" couple, that's fine. But it's not something the government needs to get involved in. We don't need a federal stamp of approval on a bullshit love contract we're forced to sign for marriage.