THE RAPTURE ON SATURDAY!!!!
Some guy on the radio said that the rapture would happen tomorrow (May 21, 2011). He found this out by doing his own caculations from the bible. What is your oppinion?
Side Score: 16
Side Score: 35
Even if you happen to be a Christian, this is just a wild speculation. Mr. Camping claims to have based his prediction on the bible, yet the bible itself says "No one but the Father shall know of the time and day in which the Savior will judge the world". Also, Mr. Camping claims that the rapture will take 24 hours to complete (occurring at 6:00PM for each time zone) while the biblical account of judgment day describes an instantaneous rapture.
Side: No way!
"However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows."
--Matthew 24:36 (NLT)
However much calculations anybody does, you cannot figure our the day of the Advent. Also, the idea of a 'secret rapture' is refuted by the Bible:
"For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes."
--Matthew 24:27 (NLT)
"Look! He comes with the clouds of heaven. And everyone will see him"
--Revelation 1:7 (NLT)
"Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there.... He wore a robe dipped in blood, and his title was the Word of God.... From his mouth came a sharp sword to strike down the nations.... On his robe at his thigh was written this title: King of all kings and Lord of all lords.... Then I saw the beast and the kings of the world and their armies gathered together to fight against the one sitting on the horse and his army.... Their entire army was killed by the sharp sword that came from the mouth of the one riding the white horse."
--Revelation 19:11-21 (NLT)
The first two refute the 'secret' rapture. The third shows that Jesus Himself will come down to finish everything. No rapture, and the Advent certainly won't be a secret.
Now, to pre-refute future arguments, here's another quote:
"People didn't realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
"Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left."
This isn't the rapture. It's equating the Advent with the Flood. Nobody knew when it was going to happen, and the Flood surprised everyone. Jesus is saying it'll be the same with the Advent: you're working in a field and, all of the sudden, Jesus is here.
Side: No way!
Delicious and sad
Following our conversation yesterday I went out and robbed my local subway with a pool ball in an elephant condom. I had them make a ten foot super-sub by stapling ten foot-longs together.
I started with meatball marinara and worked my way along the sandwich menu, spitting the staples into the faces of horrified on-lookers, and taking one of the staff out, with my johnnyball when I came to a patch that had no South-west on it.
I finished up with two feet of BMT and went home, I hear the police want to talk to me but it doesn't matter I'm gonna repent tomorrow at 5.59 and get my ass raptured to heaven, where I'll apologize to the Subway skank that I killed.
Yeah, Ricedaragh told us about this yesterday so I am prepared... I was going to call in sick today, but I decided that lying about being sick might hurt my chances of getting into heaven so I'm going in... Still, I probably won't make the cut so I'll see you bitches in Hell!!!!