I can't help but wonder, if we gave those fathers the first right of refusal to choose primary custodial care, (in other words if she chooses to have an unplanned baby) then the father is given the first right to become the primary caregiver over the mother and she were required to pay child support to him, how many of those women would actually choose to risk a pregnancy?
Very well described by Shari Schreiber, M.A.
"Tremendous advancements have been made in the field of contraception, yet countless males are still being trapped into marriage and/or fatherhood, and the repercussions are vast. Historically, females never wanted to be pregnant out of wedlock, so men have naively continued to hand the issue of birth control over to their partners. While it's the responsibility of both parties to insure against conception, males are easily seduced and infinitely more vulnerable to getting entrapped than they believe--particularly when their voiced concerns/queries are met with assurances that, “it’s safe.” Think this won't happen to you? Think again!
Women with agendas to have children give men no say in this matter, and are often looking for a ‘free ride’ in terms of financial support. They could harbor significant abandonment wounds from childhood that cause them to frantically grasp at opportunities for emotional security, so having a man’s baby insures that he cannot sever all ties with her, if he needs to leave. But ask yourself this; would an emotionally sound female want to keep a guy around, knowing he doesn't want to be there? Conception doesn’t “just happen,” and with very few exceptions (such as rape) I’ve always believed that if a woman is clear about not wanting to conceive or mother a child, she won’t. Ambivalence is too often the cause of unwanted and 'unplanned' pregnancies--but tragically, the children of these mishaps suffer most, as they're the unwitting victims of unstable relational dynamics that began long before they were born.
Any woman (straight or gay) who yearns to have a baby and is equipped to provide a loving/stable home for this child, may adopt or use the services of a fertility doctor or clinic. My point is, this is a conscious adult choice, which entails accepting full financial and emotional responsibility for this decision. But when a couple's faced with an unintended pregnancy and they disagree about keeping it, neither should be forced to pay the terrible, life-altering price for this occurrence! Inequities may always exist between females and males in every society--but in my view, this one's the most hideous. Until our legal system mandates that women are equally financially responsible for these "accidents," men will continue to be brutalized by governing bodies that persistently ignore this travesty. Furthermore, if we sanction a woman's "right to choose," how is it even remotely fair that a man's denied this same liberty?"
