I heard they're reforming the dawnguard
I was walking through Riften when a guard came to me and said "I heard they're reforming the dawnguard...vampire hunters, thought about joining up meself."
I asked him where I might find the dawnguard and he marked the fortress on my map. Then he told me a story about the time when he saw a particularly nasty vampire molesting toddlers in a back alley.
" I chased the fucker off, but not without a fight. The damn bastard escaped, and wouldn't you know it, he slipped some weird pamphlet in my trousers during the fight which outlined a rather disturbing series of political positions. I'm Nom by the way, Nom the guardsman."
"Did the pamphlet give you any idea as to why the undead are more active lately?" I asked him.
"Well, it appears the vampires have adopted some sort of far right Nazi politics, it doesn't bode well."
Just then, we heard a shriek, followed by a loud "crack" and swords being drawn.
We rushed to the source of the disturbance. What we saw is that which can never be unseen....
We saw a naked Native American vampire in a wheel chair, rolling at full speed towards a woman holding a toddler, it was hissing and throthing at the mouth. "I am Bronto, I shall have your toddler's soul!"
The guards were being Kept at bay by lighting-spitting soul gems attached to his wheelchair. There was only one thing to do...
FUS RO DA!!!!!!!
Bronto went flying out of his wheel chair, landing on a nearby rooftop. Then Nom the guardsman equipped his bow and shot him directly between the eyes.
"Got the fucker"
"Excellent shot, Nom"
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