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Yes you need tough love, because if you don't show tough love, people (that includes children, family, coworkers, ect.) will end up walking all over you, tough love to me isn't really spanking, it"s more like saying no and meaning it. Being able to know when to say no and being respected for saying no and standing your ground and not letting iyourself be swayed even though it is killing you inside to have to say no.
Especially these days when kids think that the world runs on their fucking feelings. Ofcourse this is mostly for the guys.. it's different with the girls.
Especially these days when kids think that the world runs on their fucking feelings.
This is one of the most ignorant comments I have read. Are you a parent? Of course a parent must worry for their child's feelings! If they don't, who will?
Ofcourse feelings have an importance - doesn't mean the world should run on them.
I noticed you avoided the question about whether you are a parent. I assume not, because you do not understand the connection between a child and parents feelings. Your child being upset, angry, scared etc, will make you feel all the same things. Now, that doesn't mean they should get whatever they want but, at the same time, they should feel that their parents care about them.
OK first off, I was referring to your comment about childrens feelings. Secondly, in every case you mention, violence is not needed. As I already mentioned, if you are talking about strict discipline, I agree, if you are talking about hitting someone, then I disagree.
Tough love doesn't mean violence - but it CAN do. Just as much as it can be non violent. It's nothing to do with the violence, it IS to do with giving tougher, stricter punishments or consequences to bad 'behaviour' or using toughness/strictness to improve someone etc.
What evidence do you have that kids believe "the world runs on their feelings"? That's certainly not my experience of what most kids believe. How would tough love help?
Why do you believe in tough love for boys, but not for girls? In what way should they be treated differently, and why? Is it logical to treat children differently based on accidental characteristics?
Being interested in psychology you should have a clue about how many westerners are obsessed with their feelings and how it filters through the whole society.
The education system is probably the best example of how their feelings play the biggest role.
I'm sorry... your second paragraph just shows you're sitting their with stupid questions but not answers...
The education system is probably the best example of how their feelings play the biggest role.
Could you provide an example?
I'm sorry... your second paragraph just shows you're sitting their with stupid questions but not answers...
Questions you seem to avoid answering.
Being interested in psychology you should have a clue about how many westerners are obsessed with their feelings and how it filters through the whole society.
In what way?
For someone who is attacking others, you seem to lack facts and reasoning yourself.
I agree with kamranw. However i myself have smacked my kids in the past.Obviously it worked on deterring them from danger and some bad behaviour , as the youngest is 9 and the eldest is 19 with two in between but i havent smacked either of them now for many years.They are all now at an age where , where it counts they can be maturely reasoned with. I doubt i would ever smack them again. But i would never beat them. Corporal punishment on a child is wrong. I used to respectfully bend over and touch my toes and recieve a flogging many times til i could take no more and would run away and rebel further. It didnt work on me.......................................... No you dont have kids , do you dear Kinda. As a parent you can only do your best and you ought to prepare yourself unfortunately for the worst , as no-one is born with a manual , and at a point in our lives , at whatever age , we all chose to live our own lives.And we dont all chose the same paths. Here is a little eg: I smoke , i started at 11, my mum used to smoke , as a teen i was caught smoking 14 times , which resulted in various punishments , usually a flogging , once i was forced to smoke 1 cig after the other not drawing it into my lungs but just into my mouth and then had to gulp it into my belly , i was basically eating the smoke, i got to about the seventh and was violently ill . Obviously this taught me nothing as i just , cursed them for being evil , ran away , and the first thing i did was have a cig to calm my nerves. I still smoke. I have four kids .My 19 year old smokes .He started at 15 , despite my cautions. My other kids 9-14 dont smoke . And i hope they dont. I teach them it is bad for their health. They have seen how smoking has taken a toll on me. My 14 year old ,Mr nature ,has got a real issue with it and he is my driving force in quitting. My girls they are young and they understand it is important not to copy mummy in all her dirty habits. One thing for sure , if any of them do smoke , like silly me and their older brother , i wont be punishing any of them for it .
"So what you're trying to say is.................................................???"
Exactly what i just said. But what are you trying to say ???
"Please keep arguments relevant to the topic and as clear and concise as possible." ............................................................................................... Please stop changing the topic and be as clear and concise as possible. Thankyou.
I get your point that tough love is good and abuse is bad. But then you gave a few chapters of your life that didn't really tell us except a few things about yourself. You didn't even use it as a reference to the title or give a conclusion.
In final we understand that you're for tough love - I don't know why you had to make another tag just to include without abuse.
You want to know what I'm saying? - The first 3 lines were decent. The next 50 were pointless.
You want to know what I'm saying?---"Do you believe in tough love ?" -YES......."Edit:" - EDIT WHAT ?..Did you edit the description of the debate ?
......................."People associate tough love with raising children and raising children only" - OK..BUT..........."Raising children is part of it but I mean everything else too - from athletes to criminals" - w-w-w-waaaait a minute.Do you mean strict training for athletes and strict punishment for criminals , and who are the rest in between , that you hint at and btw most of your posts in your debate mention fukall about giving tough love to "athletes to criminals" ....So really...what the fuck you chatting about now?
Glad to see you didn't make it clear or concise. And completely avoided my questions.
Only 1 point I've made isnot a reply and that was directed more towards the education system.
The rest of my posts were replies to another person's points about raising children. See you could've sat their and read that and figured it out yourself. Instead you had to be pointed in the right direction. Can you try and figure things out on your own next time instead of asking such dumb questions.
Now - instead of avoiding my question tell me what relevance the last 50 lines of that post had anything to do with the topic.
"Glad to see you didn't make it clear or concise"- NOR THE FUCK HAVE YOU.................."Can you try and figure things out on your own next time instead of asking such dumb questions."---- how am i supposed to know what your on about......................"tell me what relevance the last 50 lines of that post had anything to do with the topic."---nothing now , you edited the original description of the debate. But originally it showed an example .See you could've sat their and read that and figured it out yourself. Now - instead of avoiding my questions , and everyone elses , tell me , what relevent posts have you made that have anything to do with the topic ?
Assuming we are talking about hitting a child, it is completely unnecessary. There are many means of punishment and discipline that do not involve violence such as, grounding, taking away privileges etc. The problem is that this involves a parents discipline as well because they must be diligent in enforcing these punishments. So, in the end, they just turn to violence. A child should never fear their parents. They should respect them.
Why not fear your parents or more accurately fear the consequence of bad behaviour? Doesn't mean you can't respect them either.
And no I don't just mean raising a child or beating a child. I mean in everything. Education, work, home, law, police etc. I feel the world has gone too soft.
And no I don't just mean raising a child or beating a child. I mean in everything. Education, work, home, law, police etc. I feel the world has gone too soft.
I agree that the world has gone too soft, I just don't agree with hitting a child in any circumstance. If by tough love, you mean strict discipline I agree with you.
Why not fear your parents or more accurately fear the consequence of bad behavior?
I do not feel fear should exist when it comes to parents. I have always listened to my parents, even in adulthood and I have never feared them. The only thing I feared was disappointing the two people that would do and give anything for me to be happy and successful. Teaching respect will get you a lot further than fear.
Yes strict discipline is part of tough love. Beating is an option.
Hitting children should always be an option - never completely disregarded and never abused. Some parent manage to raise a kid straight without beating them - great. Some parents manage to raise a kid straight while beating them - great.
BTW you CAN respect AND fear a person. Just so you know.
Hitting children should always be an option - never completely disregarded and never abused. Some parent manage to raise a kid straight without beating them - great. Some parents manage to raise a kid straight while beating them - great.
NO, hitting should not be an option. The parents that feel this is needed, should learn a thing or two from the parents which you point out, can raise their children without violence.
BTW you CAN respect AND fear a person. Just so you know.\
Yes you can. Parents are not one of those people. You should LOVE and respect your parents, not fear them.
Why is hitting a child wrong? I say not hitting a child is wrong and that parents who do NOT hit their child need to learn a lesson from those who DO hit their children. Again this does not mean abusing or harming the child.
Why shouldn't you fear your parents? It doesn't mean that when they come home you shut up. lol. It just means that you fear their reactions to bad behaviour. You can love, respect AND fear. Just so you know.
My cousin , believes in tough love. But his oppinion on tough love and my oppinion on tough love is so very different. EG: If his young son cries when hurt or upset , he says things like " Suck it up , you girl or i will give you something to cry about " I understand he thinks he is trying to toughen his boy into a man , but i dont believe this is the way to go. I dont think he realizes what the possible depth of what his own hand plays, in instigating possible behaviours . Behaviours that i know he would personally detest.
