"You are over 700 years older than us. If you hadn't invented more stuff in that period of time, you should be ashamed"
Still, you have about five times more people than we do, so it evens out.
"Poor military strategy"
There was no other alternative - we didn't start those battles.
"Not well long term, obviously"
Well you were a better nation when you were part of the commonwealth.
"Hur dur man that's why we have more millionaires and billionaires"
It is better to have a collection of good people of people who live in the middle of life, than to have some people making millions and others dying on the streets. England is a far less discriminative society and it is far less unfair, with lesser divides.
"Well yes. That's what friends do. Look out for one another. You were getting the shit kicked out of you by some Germans, and we helped. We're broke as fuck, you help us"
So by launching two nuclear bombs on two cities of completely innocent people, we have to pay you on a daily basis so that you can get rid of your 17 trillion pound debt? Is there even that much money on the planet? Don't be unreasonable, Chad.
"Yes, straight giving away money and resources to an ally in need was very, very immoral"
I don't really think that nuclear-bombing two innocent cities of people was what I was talking about, Chad.
"Much, much sexier women. With better teeth"
Not really that much sexier - but definitely a lot fatter than in England.