Which war did we lose?

It shows that you have no means or knowledge of knowing how to resist and handle your food, and contributes to the idea that America is also a very stupid nation

"We're actually the largest consumer of pretty much everything"

Brilliant. So America is also a very wasteful country

"Bland... English food"

It isn't bland you crazy, uncultured fool

I am just trying to establish fairness

"You're confusing American food with fast food"

America is, however, the largest consumer of fast-food in the world - and America is the country in which America made the most fast-food.

"And fast food and American food both taste better than English food"

Obviously fast-food have their merits - but I would always choose toad-in-the-hole and other English dishes over a KFC.

"You are over 700 years older than us. If you hadn't invented more stuff in that period of time, you should be ashamed"

Still, you have about five times more people than we do, so it evens out.

"Poor military strategy"

There was no other alternative - we didn't start those battles.

"Not well long term, obviously"

Well you were a better nation when you were part of the commonwealth.

"Hur dur man that's why we have more millionaires and billionaires"

It is better to have a collection of good people of people who live in the middle of life, than to have some people making millions and others dying on the streets. England is a far less discriminative society and it is far less unfair, with lesser divides.

"Well yes. That's what friends do. Look out for one another. You were getting the shit kicked out of you by some Germans, and we helped. We're broke as fuck, you help us"

So by launching two nuclear bombs on two cities of completely innocent people, we have to pay you on a daily basis so that you can get rid of your 17 trillion pound debt? Is there even that much money on the planet? Don't be unreasonable, Chad.

"Yes, straight giving away money and resources to an ally in need was very, very immoral"

I don't really think that nuclear-bombing two innocent cities of people was what I was talking about, Chad.

"Much, much sexier women. With better teeth"

Not really that much sexier - but definitely a lot fatter than in England.

"I'm not going to comment on the "clever" argument since that depends entirely on the person"

Yet in England we have a higher average IQ than in America.

"Amazing as a nation"

Other than your military (which many disapprove of) there is not a lot of notable American qualities other than making everyone else look good.

"Vast amount of culture"

Globalisation has diminished your culture to a collection of fast-food places, whereas in England we have the beautifully psychedelic combination of amazing literature and fascinating history

"Our past slavery isn't something we should be proud of"

No, it really isn't. But the discimination posed by the slavery indicates less intelligence.

"We invented blues, rock and roll"

We invented the beatles, which sparked a lot of this and made heavy metal - which can be considered equally as good is not better.

"We invented refrigerators"

Obviously - that accounts for the most obese country on the planet.

"We invented potato chips"

That's not really an achievement.

"We invented the Internet"

No you didn't, we did.

"You were saying?"

Sorry for plagiarising axmeister, but here is just some food that we invented - and I think this far exceeds America:

Bangers and mash

Black pudding

Balti

Brown Sauce (HP Sauce)

Bubble and squeak

Cheddar cheese

Cornish pasty

Cottage pie

Cumberland sausage

Eccles cake

English mustard

Fish and chips

Full English breakfast

Gravy

Haggis

Ice cream

Jellied eels

Kendal mint cake

Lancashire hotpot

Lasagne

Lincolnshire sausage

Pancake

Parkin

Pasty

Piccalilli

Pork pie

Sausage roll

Sandwich

Scotch egg

Scouse

Shepherd's pie

Carbonated water, major and defining component of soft drinks

Sparkling wine

Spotted Dick

Steak and kidney pie

Sunday roast

Toad in the hole

Worcestershire sauce

There are also some British inventions here and here.

YOU WERE SAYING?

Yes we are ;)

You have completely ignored my argument and missed the point. We didn't conquer the Falklands, we discovered them, and then a large sum of oil was discovered and Argentina asked for them back as a consequence - and many people under the false delusion of thinking "It obviously belongs to Argentina because they are geographically closer" are wrong

"If you drop an American child in Britain that child will grow up witty, if you drop a British kid in America that child will not grow up as witty"

How on Earth did you ever reach that conclusion? There is a strong correlation between intelligent people and comedians - comedians tend to be very intelligent and to be able to crack those quick jokes and have the power to make people laugh you understandably have to be. And because people in the UK have higher IQs than people in America on average, it is actually more probable that people in England who go to America are going to be more witty - as long as the American culture doesn't 'dumb them down' too much.